Small talk may not be about serious issues; nevertheless, researchers into the subject have concluded that it's important. That's because small talk keeps us connected to one another and can lead to bigger things, such as a job or a new friendship. Yet people who find themselves alone with another person often don't know what to say. Here are a few tips to help you start a conversation, and to keep the conversation ball rolling:
Start with the obvious. If you have something in common with another person (your job, hobbies, a person you both know, etc.), begin with that. If you don't know the person, it's always acceptable to bring up a neutral topic such as the weather or a recent news event. It isn't necessary to be clever - all that's required is to show interest in the other person and to be willing to talk.
Compliment where appropriate. If the other person has done something you like or is wearing something attractive, it's always appropriate to compliment. But avoid talking about the specifics of a person's physical appearance (people can't usually change how they look) and keep your compliments short and to the point ("What a great tie!" or "You look great tonight!") and continue with another topic.
Talk about yourself - then return to your partner. It's perfectly OK to talk about your own interests for a while, but keep your conversation from becoming a monolog. It's only polite, for example, that after talking about your own children, you turn the conversation back to your partner by asking about his or her children.
article by Cambridge University Press
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